by Brad Wilcox and Russell Wilcox
Along with the hard times, missions also include a lot of fun and humor. One missionary was transferred from a big city to a small rural town. He said to his new comp, “At least now I am away from all the stray dogs.” Little did he know that as they rode their bikes that afternoon they would be attacked by pigs that chased them down the street. He said, “Great! The dogs have been replaced with killer pigs!”
A new Elder was working hard to memorize the baptismal prayer. That explains why he shocked the member feeding him when he closed his prayer in the name of the Father, and of the son, and of the Holy Ghost, Amen.
One new sister missionary almost blew up her house because she had never touched a gas stove before in her life. When all the neighbors came rushing to help she and her companion ended up giving out three copies of the Book of Mormon and setting two appointments. She told her mission president, “Maybe we ought to try the same approach in other parts of the mission!”
When New Years Day fell on a Sunday a missionary wrote, “ We only had 31 members show up at church and later we counted 35 drunks plastered in the park. Hummmmm. It looks like Satan is ahead by four!”
Two Elders showed up at the home of a member who was graciously providing them lunch. When she filled their plates, the older missionary recognized the dish as cow’s stomach and lost his appetite. Not knowing what he was eating, the younger missionary dove right in. The older missionary then asked his companion to eat his helping as well so as to not offend the cook. Just as they were trading plates, the woman entered the room. She said, “Oh, Elder! I’m sorry you don’t like your lunch. I will fix you something different.” She disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a plate of salmon. The Elder didn’t have the heart to tell her he was deathly allergic and so he waited till she was gone and piled the salmon on his companion’s plate as well. When the missionaries left, one was so full he could hardly walk and the other was starving!
Learning a language usually leads to a lot of laughs for many missionaries. One Elder used his elementary Spanish to offer to wash the dishes and ended up telling a woman he wanted to wash her! A new Elder was comparing the Book of Mormon to a cake that must be tasted. The only problem was that instead of saying cake he said turtle. Another funny experience happened when a new sister was listening to a man talk about his suicide attempt and all the while she thought he was talking about his baptism (complete with tears). You can imagine his face when she said happily, “How wonderful that you had such a good experience!”
No one makes it through a mission without the Lord’s help, but a sense of humor also makes a difference. If you can laugh at it, you can live with it! Missions are serious business, but don’t take it all so seriously you forget to laugh—especially at yourself!